


Please don't go, I love you so

by mushroom_chairs



Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Crying, Fear, Fear of Death, Hair-pulling, Hinata Hajime and Kamukura Izuru Share a Body Simultaneously, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Komaeda Nagito Being Komaeda Nagito, Komaeda Nagito's Luck Cycle, M/M, Separation Anxiety, Sharing Clothes, Sharing a Bed, Sharing a Body, Tired Hinata Hajime
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:08:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27429946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mushroom_chairs/pseuds/mushroom_chairs
Summary: Hajime stared at his hands. No no no no no.... He was a separate person it's fine. He's fine. He's always okay. He's a strong and independent person, he always will be.He has to be.
Relationships: Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito, Kamukura Izuru/Komaeda Nagito
Comments: 2
Kudos: 94





	Please don't go, I love you so

He paced around the room, he's supposed to be relaxing! Not, not, nothing whatever he's doing now! Nagito had left only minutes ago so he would be coming home from his shift, he's fine! Hajime shouldn't be worried, Nagito was always fine. Maybe not always but he was sometimes! Nothing bad was going to happen anyways, he had luck with him, but the luck didn't always work. Hajime argued with himself, mind going from Nagito to him and back to Nagito. Hajime always had this experience, he'd worry about Nagito until he came back. He always denied having separation anxiety. 'I don't have to worry about others except myself. 'Was his motto. He was always the strong and independent guy. The leader, the one with no heart and was extremely blunt and curt about everything, and the one with no talent. That's who he thought he was anyways. 

Looking at it, Hajime was nothing he thought he was. Strong? Barely, he was the bare minimum of a male. Independent? To an extent until he had to ask someone for help. No heart? Well at least he was good at acting. He was the opposite of everything he was. For God's sake he wants even a biological male! His thoughts took a turn, one that ventured deep into his mind, the deeper they wet the darker they became. Ah, he was panicking.

Panicking? 

He was... Panicking? 

Lord no, he was panicking of all things! He tried to breath in and out, keeping his eyes trained on the floor beneath him, it wasn't working it was just making it worse. Is this how Naito felt? How did Nagito feel? Wow, that was a sudden question his mind gave. Though he did wonder, how did Nagito feel? His thoughts, emotions, and overall well-being? Hajime panicked more as he realized that Nagito could very well be dead as he speaks, his luck is unstable. Nagito could be bleeding out and here was Hinata, panicking like some child. He had no right to feel this way, he wasn't supposed too. God if his head would shut up! Shut up. Shut up. Shut up! He tried breathing in and out, frustrated at even attempting it after he failed, this was supposed to help. Maybe he wants good at it. What else was he good at? No no no no no, hajime didn't want to hink any further than that. He didn't want to remember anything from that game. He didn't want to remember! 

Her laugh still haunts him. 

Crying was bizarre, water, moisture, liquid falling from your eyes and that's what Hajime was doing. Crumbling like some aged wall that survived battle after battle, this one being the last.

Seeing Hinata cry was rare. He wasn't one to show his emotions, or the ones he deemed weak, he kept it in a small bottle. That bottle, compare it to a glass jar if you will, usually overflowing, held everything he felt. He wanted to seem touch and leader like so, picking and choosing, he wanted to be what everyone painted him too be. 

Did he know who he was? Or was he merely a doll or puppet for everyone? 

No. No, shut up shut up. Hajime wanted to grip his head, he wanted to feel something, he wanted to 𝘩𝘶𝘳𝘵. The fear of feeling long hair instead of his own regular boring plain type. Hinata's eyes widened in fear, he didn't want to think about that. Sure he's not in the right state of mind but he didn't want to think how he cause The end of the world because of how selfish he was. Look at him now! Talentless and useless. He cracked. Gripping his hair, trying to pull it out, maybe if he pulled it out he wouldn't see long black hair. Maybe he'd get rid of all reminders of the terrible person he was. He'd forget everything and die alone, just how a war criminal should. He'd get everything he has now ripped away and he'd sit there, crying as he is now, thinking of how he deserves every little bad thing that happens to him. 

How could Nagito deal with him? A genuine question Hajime asked.

Sure Nagito wasn't easy to deal with, still working on that self worth, but he knew how to love properly (to an extent). Hajime didn't. He never got much but he shouldn't complain. Nagito had it worse. Nagito always has it bad, Hinata can't complain. He can't. He just, he just can't! He shouldn't be going through whatever this is he should be productive. He should be doing something else other than this! God he was so-

Something was unlocking. 

There was a door closing. Footsteps he knew to be familiar nearing his spot. 

And hinata couldn't do a thing. 

Sure his thoughts slowed but he still gripped his hair, his crying sobs loud enough to gain attention, he was still in the moment of panicking. His lover coming home made him panic more. 𝘕𝘰 𝘯𝘰 𝘯𝘰 𝘯𝘰 𝘯𝘰, 𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴! 𝘚𝘵𝘰𝘱 𝘤𝘳𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘥𝘪𝘰𝘵! 𝘊𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘯 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱 𝘪𝘵. 𝘚𝘵𝘰𝘱 𝘪𝘵. 𝘚𝘵𝘰𝘱 𝘪𝘵! 𝘚𝘵𝘰𝘱 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱 𝘴𝘵-

"Hajime..? "

Oh no. He saw him. He saw him in all his wonderful, quite pitiful, glory. He let out a distressed noise, curling onto himself more, his knuckles white by how hard he was already gripping his hair. He couldn't feel a thing actually, so he didn't know he was gripping that hard. He didn't even notice Nagito sighing and dropping his things, his face contorted between sadness and confusion, " Hey, angle, what happened? What's wrong my dear"

Hajime tried to speak, tried to communicate, but he couldn't. His throat became dry and it hurt to speak. He wanted to tell Nagito, he wanted to cry into him but something stopped him. Frail hands came to his hands on his head, gently prying them from his grip on his hair, " Hinata, dear, can you look at me? Can you mimic my breathing? " Hajime pulled his hands from Nagito's grasp, hands now gripping his pants. His followed Nagito's request, not the eye looking part but you know the breathing, it made his breathing pick up actually. Hajime shut his his eyes, muttering apologies and other sentences even he couldn't make out, " Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorr-" 

"Tell me five things you smell Angel"

Smell? Well, there were a lot of things Hajime could smell, " I,, I smell you. You smell like, uh, y-you smell like citrus. Uh, u-uh, I also smell uh- sorry sorry- I smell tea..? Lemon tea..? For who? Is it for me? I don't, uh, I don't like uh I don't like Lemon tea. I- I can't. I can't smell anything other than some some uh some warm fire? Like a fireplace? I'm. Not sure because -because uh we don't own a fireplace I think, I think..? " Hajime's voice sounded weak and tired. Nagito nodded, hand caressing Hajime's cheek, " Yes, that's good. You're doing well. Would you like my jacket? Or would you like to change into-" " Can- can we change please? Please, sorry, sorry I know but I feel like uh like stuffy in these clothes and, and- please can we just change? " Hajime was feeling wobbly and closed in, he hated this feeling. Nagito smiled at him and helped him up and into the bed room, taking both their shirts off. 

Soon they were in bed, Nagito stroking Hajime. Hajime felt tired, he felt safe and tired, also woozy, let's not forget woozy. "Mmh, do you feel a bit better Love? " Hajime felt better than better. No verbal response but a snuggle closer and a light nod, Nagito just sighed and smiled. 

"We'll talk about this layer alright..? Let's just rest for now. " Lifting Hajime's head up, Nagito planted a soft kiss on his forehead and smiled like an idiot. Hajime smiled back, he felt safe. Suddenly his worries didn't seem to exist as long as Nagito was here. 

Where ever Nagito was Hajime was happy and safe. He always would be. For now at least.


End file.
